There are no absolutes. But if I want­ed to spot some­one who’s had a top­sy-turvy child­hood and expe­ri­enc­ing PTSD, I would look for these things in their exist­ing adult rela­tion­ships:

They are con­stant­ly on edge in their rela­tion­ships, always wait­ing for the oth­er shoe to drop. They appear to strug­gle to believe expres­sions of love from their part­ner, push­ing peo­ple away when things start get­ting close.

Does any of this match your expe­ri­ences? If the answer’s yes, then it’s time to do a bit of dig­ging to learn how child­hood trau­ma is affect­ing your adult rela­tion­ships.

It’s a cru­el irony: the peace­ful life you’ve built may still con­tain hid­den land­mines from your past. While tip-toe­ing around these issues might avoid full-scale explo­sions, true heal­ing comes from fac­ing them head-on.

PTSD from Childhood Trauma

Lump­ing PTSD and trau­ma togeth­er in one sen­tence often gives the impres­sion that they are the same thing. They are not.

Child­hood trau­ma refers to deeply dis­tress­ing or dis­turb­ing sit­u­a­tions expe­ri­enced as a child (even at the infan­cy stage) or an ado­les­cent. This could include:

• Phys­i­cal, emo­tion­al, or sex­u­al abuse
• Neglect
• Wit­ness­ing vio­lence
• Los­ing a par­ent or sib­ling
• Severe ill­ness or injury
• Nat­ur­al dis­as­ters
• Acci­dents

Not every trau­mat­ic expe­ri­ence will morph into PTSD.  That doesn’t mean trau­ma isn’t prob­lem­at­ic. It cer­tain­ly is and can have last­ing effects on a per­son­’s emo­tion­al well-being and rela­tion­ships, even with­out a PTSD diag­no­sis.

PTSD, on the oth­er hand, is a spe­cif­ic men­tal health con­di­tion that can devel­op after expe­ri­enc­ing or wit­ness­ing a trau­mat­ic event. It’s char­ac­ter­ized by symp­toms like:

• Intru­sive mem­o­ries or flash­backs
• Avoid­ance of trau­ma-relat­ed trig­gers
• Neg­a­tive changes in think­ing and mood
• Changes in phys­i­cal and emo­tion­al reac­tions

While PTSD can be felt more severe­ly, both trau­ma and PTSD are like­ly to have adverse effects on your adult rela­tion­ships. Let’s explore how.

The Adult Brain After Childhood Trauma and Ptsd

Whether from trau­ma or PTSD, ear­ly life expe­ri­ences shape our devel­op­ing brains.

In cas­es of trau­ma, the brain, still in ear­ly devel­op­ment, might become more sen­si­tive to stress and wired for dan­ger. The amyg­dala turns real­ly sen­si­tive and rings the your-life-is-in-dan­ger alarm bell for every minor.

Fol­low­ing that, the child then learns to devel­op a low thresh­old for stress, and the body los­es its pow­er to reg­u­late stress hor­mones like cor­ti­sol.

With PTSD, the changes are even more pro­nounced, espe­cial­ly in areas respon­si­ble for emo­tion reg­u­la­tion and mem­o­ry.

The hip­pocam­pus, cru­cial for mem­o­ry pro­cess­ing, might show reduced vol­ume. The pre­frontal cor­tex, respon­si­ble for exec­u­tive func­tions like deci­sion-mak­ing and impulse con­trol, might show decreased activ­i­ty. The link between the amyg­dala and the pre­frontal cor­tex might grow weak­er.

What does all these mean for your rela­tion­ships as a grown-up?

Every­thing. Those ear­ly, unhealthy recon­fig­u­ra­tions of the brain swing into full effect many years lat­er. They are large­ly respon­si­ble for why you strug­gle with man­ag­ing your emo­tions in rela­tion­ships.

These three com­mon rela­tion­ship prob­lems illus­trate the issues from child­hood trau­ma and PTSD bet­ter.

Trust Issues

One of the core psy­cho­log­i­cal prin­ci­ples at play here is the wild­ly famous attach­ment the­o­ry.

Child­hood trau­ma leads to inse­cure attach­ment styles and can make it dif­fi­cult to trust oth­ers com­plete­ly.

You may strug­gle with fear of aban­don­ment, dif­fi­cul­ty believ­ing that your partner’s love and com­mit­ment, or con­stant expec­ta­tion of betray­al or harm.

Emotional Regulation

Child­hood PTSD can dis­rupt the devel­op­ment of healthy emo­tion­al reg­u­la­tion. In adult rela­tion­ships, this might look like:

• Intense mood swings
• Over­re­ac­tion to minor rela­tion­ship issues
• Dif­fi­cul­ty express­ing emo­tions appro­pri­ate­ly

The psy­cho­log­i­cal prin­ci­ple here is emo­tion­al dys­reg­u­la­tion, where the brain strug­gles to process and respond to emo­tion­al stim­uli effec­tive­ly.

Intimacy

Child­hood trau­ma and PTSD’s effect on inti­ma­cy may be the most prob­lem­at­ic.

The very close­ness that defines a healthy rela­tion­ship can trig­ger fear respons­es in those with child­hood trau­ma. This cre­ates a push-pull dynam­ic:

• Crav­ing close­ness but feel­ing ter­ri­fied of it
• Sab­o­tag­ing rela­tion­ships when they become too inti­mate
• Dif­fi­cul­ty being vul­ner­a­ble or shar­ing deep emo­tions even when you want des­per­ate­ly to do so

Complex ptsd therapist near me

Trauma’s impact, at what­ev­er stage it occurs, is life-chang­ing. I nev­er get tired of say­ing that. The adjust­ments to the brain that these adverse events make are mas­sive.

While our brains may be bet­ter equipped to han­dle trau­ma as adults, the grow­ing brain doesn’t have that lux­u­ry. But that doesn’t mean there’s no hope of recov­ery.

Like most things in nature, our brains have restora­tive pow­ers. They can be nudged to dis­man­tle unhealthy con­nec­tions and rebuild safe, healthy ones.

The prin­ci­ple of neu­ro­plas­tic­i­ty explains this abil­i­ty well. Because new neur­al path­ways are formed through­out life, it is pos­si­ble, with prop­er sup­port and effort, to relearn how to form secure attach­ments, reg­u­late emo­tions, and enjoy inti­ma­cy.

Ther­a­py is one (maybe the best) way for the old brain to learn new tricks. Approach­es like Cog­ni­tive Behav­ioral Ther­a­py (CBT) and Eye Move­ment Desen­si­ti­za­tion and Repro­cess­ing (EMDR) have already been proven to work well.

If you’d like to learn more about child­hood trau­ma or even begin your recov­ery process from its effects, you can sched­ule a free 15-minute con­sul­ta­tion with me to dis­cuss your next steps.

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