The Attachment Theory was originally developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth primally to understand the development of emotional connection between an individual and their primary caregiver. This emotional connection influences one’s behavioral pattern when interacting with others throughout their life. To better understand these patterns Bowlby and Ainsworth categorized these patterns into the attachment styles we know today: secure, anxious, avoidant, and anxious-avoidant. Each represents a unique way in which individuals relate to others, through both connection and stress. Yet, when a traumatic event occurs, individuals’ attachment styles can shift and create consequences that have lasting effects.

What are the different attachment styles

Secure Attachment

Secure attachment develops when the caregiver is consistently available and responsive to an infant’s needs, providing him or her with a sense of safety and assurance. People with secure attachments generally feel worthy and see themselves as lovable. These people believe that other people are generally reliable and trustworthy. People with secure attachment styles also tend to display healthy, adaptive behaviors in relationships. They are comfortable in intimacy and at the same time feel comfortable being independent. They communicate openly and honestly, and can confront their partners in a constructive manner. These people are also good at encouraging and nurturing their partners with emotional support. People in secure attachment relationships generally characterize their experiences through respect, empathy, and a balance of turn taking.

Anxious Attachment (Preoccupied)

Children with anxious attachment develop it in cases where a caregiver’s response is inconsistent, leading to the development of insecurity in the child. Rejection is something adults with an anxious attachment will most of the time be very afraid of and, in some instances, doubt that they are worthy of being loved. Usually in their relationships with others, they present high expressive, impulsive, and anxiety symptoms. Persons with anxious attachment are usually dependent on their relationships for self-esteem. A person with anxious attachment will often seek approval and reassurance from their partners excessively which may lead to a stressful relationship. Their intense eagerness in maintaining closeness can show as possessiveness, clingy behaviors, and chronic fear of being deserted. Some of them show “heightened interpersonal sensitivity”: they will respond strongly to the actions and moods of their partners and may even read small lapses as a threat to the relationship.

Avoidant Attachment (Dismissive)

Avoidant (or dismissive) attachment frequently develops in children whose caregivers are emotionally unavailable or unresponsive to their needs. People of this attachment style usually become excessively self-reliant and they may dismiss the importance of close relationships. Mostly, they always consider themselves self-reliant and tend to be independent. Usually, those with an avoidant attachment don’t like to get emotionally close to their partners in relationships. For example, they may feel uneasy in matters of intimacy, and they may suppress their emotions in order not to become highly emotionally engaged. People with avoidant attachment will commonly withdraw during conflict and fail to attend to their partner’s emotional needs. These people may also see expressing love or being vulnerable as a point of weakness or invasion.

Anxious-Avoidant Attachment (Fearful-Avoidant)

Anxious-avoidant, or even fearful-avoidant, patterns of attachment are linked with motives that involve a desire for closeness and intimacy. Individuals with this attachment style , however, have the fear of trusting others completely and fear being hurt in the process. This may be due to past trauma or caregiver inconsistency. This type of attachment style creates confusion between one’s desire for affection and the fear it will bring. Anxious-avoidant individuals will be push-pull oriented in their relationships. They might approach partners with a desire for intimacy, only to withdraw when relationships get too close or emotionally intense. The avoidant-attachment pattern may create turmoil in the relationship where the anxious-avoidant partner grapples with the fear of abandonment and the fear of intimacy. Their behaviors may, at times, feel like being on a rollercoaster—where at one point they are close and at another time, they are withdrawing and lacking self-assurance.

Symptoms of how trauma affects attachment

In addition to affecting the brain, trauma can also interfere with the attachment system of an individual such as:

• Diminishing the victim’s belief of living in a safe and predictable world. These people may have a distorted perception of safety in relationships and possibly basic mistrust.

• Becoming clingier and overdependent as a means of trying to secure emotional safety.

• Pulling away from the situation as a defense against getting more emotional pain.

• Having outbursts of strong emotional reactions or numbness

• Unconsciously re-enacting past problems in current relationships.

Effects of Trauma on Anxious Attachment

Trauma can magnify pre-existing anxiousness in those with an anxious attachment style, leading them to exaggerate their responses to real or imagined relational threats. This may mean asking for more reassurance, increasing emotional distress, and being highly reactive to even subtle changes in the mood or behavior of the partner.

After trauma, people with an anxious attachment may become even more dependent on their close relationships for feelings of security and self-worth. They then become overly dependent, straining close relationships, and partners may sometimes feel overwhelmed or need to withdraw, further confirming the fears of abandonment held by the anxiously attached individual.

Effects of Trauma on Avoidant Attachment

Trauma may increase the natural tendency of avoidance in a person with avoidant attachment, distrust of other people, and the skepticism of the reliability of intimate relationships even further. They may find themselves avoiding communication or rejecting offers for support. Avoidants may experience additional isolation, feelings of loneliness, and misunderstanding among partners or peers.

Effects of Trauma on Anxious-Avoidant Attachment

Traumatized individuals with an anxious-avoidant attachment style often find themselves in heightened conflicts between their need for emotional closeness and the fear of getting too close, which may create confusion and alienation among partners. The push-pull nature of an anxious-avoidant individual may become more erratic when faced with trauma. They become characterized by unpredictability in mood swings, with inconsistency in communication and sudden shifts in relation dynamics.

Attachment theory together with trauma-informed care is key to therapeutic effectiveness in outcomes. If you’ve found yourself a victim of childhood or adult trauma and wish to address it, reach out today.

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In our final blog post, we will review protective factors and resiliency as a way to mitigate the effects of ACEs.