Traumatic events can forever alter the course of a person’s life. When someone experiences sexual trauma, the aftermath can feel impossible to get through and overcome. Unfortunately, sexual trauma can happen to anyone and it can happen to anyone of any gender, age, or socioeconomic status.
Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that 1 in 2 women and 1 in 3 men experience physical sexual trauma in their lives. Further, 25% of women and close to 4% of men experience attempted or completed rape and 11% of men are forced to penetrate someone in his life. [1]
Going through something as traumatic as sexual abuse or assault can leave scars on the psyche long after you have healed physically. The focus of today’s blog post will explain what sexual trauma is and, most importantly, how to begin healing mentally. Any behavior of a sexual nature that results in a great deal of stress for the survivor is defined as sexual trauma. When this occurs, it’s without consent, or the consent is forced due to fear.
Sexual trauma can also be any intentional and inappropriate behavior that gives the offender a form of sexual gratification. Examples include physical behaviors such as being touched sexually, being forced to do sexual acts, being verbally threatened or humiliated, or forcing someone to view sexually explicit images. If sexual trauma is left untreated, the survivor is at risk for struggling with the long-term effects of the event. For some, sexual trauma can lead to chronic health problems, anxiety, depression, or substance abuse. In some situations, behavioral consequences can also include continuing the cycle of trauma through perpetrating abuse.
Signs and symptoms of sexual abuse in adults
Everyone can be impacted by sexual assault and trauma differently. Some symptoms and signs can include:
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Sleep issues, including sleeping more or less, nightmares, or waking up frequently.
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Distancing from friends and family.
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Poor hygiene
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Intense fear
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Lack of motivation
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Self-harm
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Wanting to hide your feelings
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Being constantly alert or on edge
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Difficulty concentrating–often in school or at work
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Increased irritability, crying, or depressive symptoms
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Physical health conditions related to cardiovascular, gastrointestinal, gynecological, or overall sexual health
How to heal sexual trauma
Returning to “normal” after sexual trauma can feel challenging or even impossible for survivors of sexual trauma. There’s no one right way to move forward, but the suggestions below can be a healthy and helpful start.
Avoid rushing the recovery process
Recovering and moving on after sexual trauma, unfortunately, won’t happen overnight. Moving past the event takes time and a lot of hard work and therapy. When you participate in therapy, you and your clinician will create a treatment plans in working towards recovery. Treatment plans vary from person to person, depending on trauma severity, history, and scheduling needs. Despite a desire to get through the trauma as fast as possible, rushing the healing process can negatively impact the ability to recover.
Choose compassion over blame
It’s common for trauma survivors of any kind to blame themselves. Survivors often grapple with shame and self-loathing as they question what they could have done differently to prevent the abuse from happening in the first place. Sexual trauma survivors may also unnecessarily blame themselves. Regardless of what happened, where it happened, or who was involved, or what you were doing, it was and is not your fault.
Sexual trauma survivors may unnecessarily blame themselves. Regardless of what happened, where it happened, or who was involved, or what you were doing, it was and is not your fault.
Minimize substance and alcohol use
Some sexual trauma survivors may turn to substances, including drugs and alcohol, to numb the pain or to temporarily feel better. While this may be a short-term solution, it does not take away the pain or the memories long-term. Talk with a friend, family member, or therapist if you find yourself having trouble managing your substance use. Separate when you take prescribed medications and alcohol to reduce the chance of harmful chemical interactions. If you’re struggling with substance abuse after trauma, please reach out to a healthcare professional.
Develop a plan
It’s easy and common to feel unsafe or uneasy after a sexual trauma occurs. Taking precautionary steps such as blocking the perpetrator and restricting access to that person can help. Create a plan to keep yourself safe, such as being mindful of your surroundings, having emergency contacts, and self-safety items (i.e., pepper spray, whistle, phone location on). When in public, try to have a “buddy” who you trust.
Stay connected
While it might feel like it’s better to keep what’s happened to yourself, choose a safe person to talk with about how you are feeling. This can include family, friends, a trusted teacher or professor, coach, or mentor.
While it might feel like it’s better to keep what’s happened to yourself, choose a safe person to talk with about how you are feeling.
Seek out trauma-informed therapy
Photo of Dr. Bradford Stucki, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
One of the most important steps to healing from sexual trauma is to reach out for support through a therapist. Trauma is complex, and so can its impact be on our lives.
Reach out today to start your healing journey.
[1]. https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/fastfact.html#:~:text=Over%20half%20of%20women%20and,penetrate%20someone%20during%20his%20lifetime.
