In the tapestry of human relationships, trust weaves the strongest threads. But what happens when those threads are torn asunder, leaving behind the tattered remnants of betrayal? Betrayal trauma, a profound breach of trust by someone close, can inflict wounds that go far deeper than surface-level hurt. These wounds, often invisible to the naked eye, can leave lasting scars on the psyche, manifesting in symptoms akin to those of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
These symptoms may commonly include feelings of:
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Distressing dreams or memories of the event
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Flashbacks as though the incident were reoccurring
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Distress in your body, through nausea, stomach aches, headaches, feeling burdened
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Being more irritable or angry
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Becoming more startled than usual
These symptoms may commonly include actions of:
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Avoidance of distressing memories, thoughts or feelings related to the event
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Self blame, like “This happened because I am bad” or “No one will ever love me because of this”
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Having difficulty concentrating
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Doing more reckless things
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Being unable to do what you’ve normally done in work or home settings
Betrayal trauma is not merely a matter of being let down or disappointed. It’s a seismic rupture in the foundations of trust, perpetrated by someone who was supposed to cherish, protect, or support us. It could be infidelity in a romantic relationship, deception by a close friend, or abuse by a trusted authority figure. The betrayal shatters our sense of security, leaving us feeling vulnerable, violated, and fundamentally betrayed.
The aftermath of betrayal trauma can be likened to navigating a minefield of emotions. Anger, grief, confusion, and profound sadness often coalesce into a turbulent storm of inner turmoil. These emotions can be overwhelming, paralyzing even the most resilient of individuals. In the wake of betrayal, the mind grapples with conflicting thoughts and emotions, struggling to make sense of the incomprehensible.
What distinguishes betrayal trauma from other forms of psychological distress is its profound impact on one’s sense of self-worth and identity. Victims of betrayal often experience an existential crisis, questioning their own judgment, worthiness, and capacity to trust. The very essence of who they are feels tarnished, as if their identity has been compromised by the actions of another.
The parallels between betrayal trauma and PTSD are striking. Both involve an overwhelming sense of betrayal and violation, leading to intrusive thoughts, emotional numbness, and hypervigilance. Flashbacks to the traumatic event, nightmares, and avoidance of reminders are common symptoms shared by both conditions. Just as soldiers returning from war can be haunted by the specter of combat, survivors of betrayal trauma may find themselves haunted by memories of the betrayal, unable to escape its pervasive grip.
Therapy for betrayal trauma
Recognizing the signs of betrayal trauma-induced PTSD is the first step toward healing. If you find yourself experiencing recurrent nightmares or intrusive thoughts about the betrayal, if you feel emotionally numb or detached from others, or if you find yourself avoiding people or situations that remind you of the trauma, it may be time to seek help. Therapy can be a lifeline for those struggling to navigate the tumultuous waters of betrayal trauma. Betrayal trauma therapy can help you to:
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Have a safe space to process your feelings of betrayal
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Explore the impact of the betrayal on your self-worth and trust and begin healing these areas
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Learn coping strategies to use to manage your feelings and harmful thought patterns
Betrayal trauma therapy near me
While therapy is effective in treating trauma, so is self-care outside of therapy. Self-care plays a crucial role in the healing process. Participating in yoga, reiki, or other mindfulness-based strategies can be very effective as well. Choose to engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, whether it’s spending time with your children, family, or nature. Taking care of your body by eating nutritious food, prioritizing adequate sleep, and practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation can help your nerves while you also take care of your mind.
Seeking support from others who have experienced betrayal trauma can also be immensely beneficial. Joining a support group or online community can provide a sense of validation and solidarity, reminding you that you are not alone in your struggles. Sharing your story with others who understand can help to alleviate feelings of isolation and shame, fostering a sense of connection and belonging.
Above all, be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate the journey of healing from betrayal trauma-induced PTSD. Healing is not a linear process, and there may be setbacks along the way. Remember that it’s okay to seek help, to lean on others for support, and to take things one day at a time. With time, patience, and perseverance, it is possible to emerge from the shadows of betrayal trauma and reclaim a sense of wholeness and empowerment.
As a skilled EMDR therapist, I will provide you with a safe space to explore and process the complex emotions surrounding your betrayal. Through using modalities such as EMDR—a gold standard treatment for PTSD—together we can work on mitigating the effects of the betrayal trauma on your self-esteem, thus helping you to reclaim your sense of agency and self-worth. We will also work on ways to challenge your negative thought patterns and help you to develop healthier coping strategies.
Reach out today to start on your path to feeling lighter.
